Reflections

The First Time I Kissed My Wife

By July 2, 2020 No Comments

I can remember the first time my wife kissed me.  It was over 3 decades ago.  As a young man, the feeling was exhilarating.  Wonderful butterflies and brilliant sparks took my breath away, and I lost a bit of my reasoning capacity. At the same time, I became laser focused on seeing her again as many times in the future as possible. In that moment, I thought I knew her, but I didn’t. I only knew one of the benefits of increasing intimacy and deepening relationship. 

In fact, I didn’t know her very well at all until after I committed myself to her. And I didn’t know that the wonderful experience of a kiss was a lower benefit in the hierarchy of goodness that would come from our growing union. The commitment of marriage compelled me to walk with my wife through difficult times, disagreements, victories, sweetness, bitterness, light and dark.  The eyes of my heart were opened to who she was only after I had committed to take the journey with her. She is far too complex for me to know her in a single moment, because I’ve learned that she is a little different from moment to moment. And life is comprised of trillions of uncountable singular moments. It requires a lifetime of commitment to know her.  Such commitment has brought me so many more valuable benefits than the exhilaration of a kiss.  Most of those benefits are not as exciting, but their value is beyond price. 

As I got to know her, I understood better and better my purpose as husband — to protect her, to love her in hard times, to raise children with her, and to serve God with her.  It took me longer to understand these things than it should have.  But I would never have understood them had I never committed to her as a person. To be committed to her, to know her, and to know my purpose with her, empowers me to make a difference in my children, in my church, and in my community.  It is acquiring this deep — and deepening — level of knowing that produces fruit in a relationship.

Our relationship with God is only different in that it is more intense, and more profound.  As a church, we have been asking the question, “where do we go from here?”  The answer will be found in each individual person’s commitment to knowing God, opening our eyes to his goodness, seeking and finding our individual purposes in his plan, and then fulfilling that purpose to make a difference.  Perhaps you can remember the excitement the first time you encountered God. If that’s where you’ve stopped, then you’ve missed out on growth. What have you done this week to answer the question of “where do I go from here?” Consider asking that question every week.

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